Wednesday, September 28, 2005

coulda, woulda, shoulda

Sometimes I cannot help but wonder what might have been, what if, etc..... all the old woulda, coulda, shoulda's in life. Is it unhealthy to occaisionally reflect on those things that might have been? I suppose that if we cross some untangiable line towards obession, then we are dealing with an unhealthy habit. For me, I believe the practice of looking back solidifies the importance of making informed decisions in life, accepting my own shortcomings as they were, considering my growth and advancement since that time in the past (let us pray that there HAS been growth and advancement!), and re-evaluating my current path.
Have you ever been asked "If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently / change ?" Almost always, the answer is, "I wouldn't change a thing". Hey, I've answered it the same way, but you know what? Right here, right now, I wonder if my answer would actually be "Oh I'd change a lot!" Who am I kidding? I wouldn't mind living my life over again and doing a much better job, taking back all the hurts I caused others, took away the hurts done to me, and been more appreciative of LIFE. I guess it is a good thing I won't actually face that decision at any point in my life. Although I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason and we all ultimately end up where we are meant to end up, I cannot say that I would not change some details of my life if I were given the chance. Maybe by changing those not so good things would effect the truly good things, but wouldn't I still end up where I am meant to end up? Is it truly the journey or the destination that matters? Or is it both?

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