life's unanswered questions.

the not-so-fun events of the past few months have finally begun to really sink in for me and the everyday stressors seem to be intensifying. my belief that i am a jinx or at the very least, a bad luck magnet, has been further validated. my one question right now is "why?" is it that old "sins of the father" thing? or maybe it's karma, cuz we all know i ain't no angel. maybe it's just fate or destiny? i'm sure i'll never get an answer to that, yet there it is. hanging there, hoping against hope that there will, indeed, be an answer. what do i do in the meantime? keep worrying how i'm going to manage to do all the things that i need to do in all the different areas of my life when all i want to do is crawl under a rock and hibernate for a few months? keep dogpaddling along in the river of denial while my health goes to hell in a handbasket, or worse? keep wishing on the first star i see every night that i'll finally find my fairy godmother? i'm sure there is something different i should be doing. right now, the stress is pulling me in too many directions to be able to figure it out. i'm standing on the edge of overwhelmed. thank the Good Lord i'm the faker diva extraordinaire. i'll get through this rough patch just like i always do. things will be sunshine and daffodils for a time and i'll wonder if life could possibly get better. until then, maybe i can find a good pair of rose colored glasses?